The cubical jungle breeds strange officemates...
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This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.
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Wednesday, June 11, 2003
I heard ya missed me, I'm back....
I had to come out of retirement. I know, I know... I bid my tearful farewell and turned the reigns over to a new writer but sometimes, you just have to come out for one last hoorah. Now I don't mean in a Rolling Stones or Cher 34th annual farewell concert kind of way. I mean in a George Foreman 40 year old boxer proving he can still do it kind of way. That and I was lucky enough to have a conversation with Pete today that just had to go down in annals of Pete-dom. So I bring you...
Trailer park trials and tribulations....
Oh whatever is a poor good ol boy to do when the land barons start a fussin over what constitutes a trailer and what is a mobile home? As we all know Pete has his little bit of Redneck heaven out at the "huntin Chalet" in the woods. Well if you've been reading this you know that the chalet is an old camper with a wooden porch nailed to the front of it. This has been on that land for 30 years and was passed on to him by his dearly departed "Diddy." Well... It seems around "ten years er so" he bought the adjoining property to his when the folks "fell back on their taxes and the guv'ment went and took it back." So Pete went off to auction and picked it up "fer ten doller" (as we know Pete’s world has no plural) and commenced to joining it with his land. He went off to the commission and had the two lots turned in to one so he could pay less as one large lot than as two smaller ones. Surprisingly this makes sense but I won't go in to that.
Well now ten years later the land board has decided that his joined land is now only suitable for a trailer and his camper "don't count e'en though it shoulda been gran-fatherd in." So now they want more money and his camper moved. Judging by the folks in the "neighborhood" I'm sure the complaints are rolling in about the camper. "Hey kaint you do sumpin 'bout that Pete feller??? His trailer is trashin' up the neighborhood and makin' the Camara I got up on blocks in the front yard look trashy."
So what is Pete to do???
Why his off to fight the man! Go Pete Go!!!!!! Deliver a crushing blow for camper living folk everywhere. Show them you aren't gonna take it. It was pointed out to him that perhaps the corrupt landowners wanted a little something under the table. C'mon now we've all seen the movies. We know how land barons are always keeping the serfdom down unless you can offer a little kickback. Pete's reply was "Oh I'll givem sumpin unner the table all right. Sumpin called Smith and Wesson." Cool. We gonna have us an old south showdown! I can see it now, Pete in his overalls, corncob pipe clasped firmly in his teeth, toting a double barrel shotgun. Instructing the Missus to "Git our baby and stay inside. This could get nasty." Firing a few shots at them all the while screaming "Git offa my land you mangy Varmints!!!!" Why I may even help him with his last stand.... Naaaaaaaaaaah. It'd just be more fun to go over and video tape it. Well if all else fails on Friday he said he was just "gonna or-go-nize the rest of the trailer park and file them a class action law suit." Imagine that... Pete in a court battle.
Glad to know that in this crazy ever-changing world you can always count on one thing... No matter how long you stay away Pete will always be a dumb redneck and I... Well I will continue to be entertained.
11:10 AM
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