The cubical jungle breeds strange officemates...
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This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.
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Monday, March 10, 2003
I'll admit... I got a little bored...
So I haven't updated this site since December. I felt, not unlike Pete, it was getting a bit long in the tooth. It seemed to get a bit redundant. I mean how long can you read this before the concept hits you over the head... OK OK We get it... Stupid redneck... talks all day on personal calls... enough already....
Well, it seems that I was wrong. I have received requests, both written a verbal to bring back Pete. It seems the "feller has done growed on folks" and everyone wants to know just what he will do next. So who am I to fight Pete's public, you asked for it... you got it. Without further ado I give you...
Oh LAWDY LAWDY!!!! I don't know nuthin bout birthin no babies.
Long time readers may recall that ol' Mrs Pete is pregnant. You may also recall that it had nothing to do with Pete. She went down to, as he put it, "One eight hunnert- who's yer diddy." Well, it seems that the joyous event is upon us as Mrs. Pete is due today. Well... "Sheet fyr n' save 'em matches." By close of business today Pete's gonna be a proud papa, again. This being said, I decided it would be rather funny if I poked a little fun at ol' Pete. Especially since he never would have guessed it came from me. So on Friday of last week I came in early and left him a little present. I searched and searched the web until I started uncovering news stories about artificial insemination "mix-ups" shall we say, that ended in white parents giving birth to black children. Turns out this is a lot more common then you could imagine. Frighteningly so. So with my malicious streak in full force and armed with word and a printer I proceeded to copy and paste a document together of every major news story I could find. Once the five pages were done I printed that sucker off and left it on his desk. So he would have a little light reading when he came in.
Now let's think about why this is so funny. I will put it in a mathematical equation just to show the science and logic in my humor.
Pete + Redneck + Redneck Wife + Huntin buddies + black child = Charter revoked from the Klan. (and hours of entertainment for the rest of us.)
Could you imagine the look on his face when he's down there waiting like a catcher for the perfect fastball when all of a sudden the pitcher throws him a curve? Oh MAN I'd kill to be in the delivery room if that happens. I can tell you right now that child would suddenly succumb to SIDS the second it was brought home. It's much easier to do that then explain why your child’s skin color is showing through his infant-sized white sheet jumper at the Klan rally.
10:45 AM
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